Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Father's Day

I hear father's day is in a few days. It is not a day I pay special attention to like my birthday or mothers day or fridays so I will probably forget about it right after publishing this piece.

The reason father's day holds no meaning to me is the fact that I have never had a reason to celebrate it. The person I should be celebrating on that day is none existent to me. His place has however been filled by different male figures in my life who impacted me in different ways.

You see, I was raised by a single mother and if you think for a second that that is something to be ashamed of then go jump off a cliff or off a building..or however else you would prefer to end your misery.

My 'dad' has never been in my life -note I put the word dad in quotes- and if he ever was at any point then I just don't remember it.

Have I ever wondered how my life would have been if he stuck around?....yes I have. Especially when I was much younger and yet to understand just how complicated 'adult' relationships can get. When i look back now, I am almost glad he never stuck around maybe my life would not have been as awesome as it has been.

Fathers day should be a day to celebrate the men who stuck around despite the uncertainty of life and that of raising a family. It should be a day for those men who stuck around for their babies despite the strained relationships with their baby mamas. It is a day to celebrate the men who took in children they did not father but raised as their own.

There should never be a reason or an excuse for a man to desert their child and do it consciously. If you are one of those men and you are reading this piece....stab yourself and know that no matter how hard you try to convince yourself that you are a man; you will never be one.

For those fathers who have held their families down despite unimaginable difficulties, I tip my hat to you. You are more of a man than the man who can take on a lion but has deserted his child.

To the men who took in children they did not father and have given them love and support like they were his own.....I tip my hat to you.

To future fathers who will move mountains to hold their family down.....fathers day is a day to celebrate you.

Like I said earlier......am not big on fathers day but I want to take this opportunity to thank the men who filled the gap of that man who ran with his tail between his legs.Grandpa',uncles....thank you for being that father figure when I needed one to look up to

But most of all I tip my hat and celebrate the woman who raised me without the help of him. Mum..I tip my hat to you and father's day is also about women like you.... Women who have and continue to hold your families down single handedly.

Happy Father's day....celebrate if you must.





Tuesday, January 7, 2014

2014....BRING IT ON


2014…I can tell you what is different this year as compared to the last two years; I have a job. Both 2012 and 2013 started with me being jobless. Both years started with me being a complete couch potato. I think these are the periods I gained weight.

I guess it’s only fair to say I like how the year has started (read I have a job). This is my last day bumming before I go back to work and what better way to spend it than working on what I have been postponing. I have been avoiding the thought of 2014 and what I want and hope to achieve before it comes to a close.
I want this blog to be the place I admit…mostly to myself….that I am scared. Scared that I might hope and end up wanting badly to actualize those hopes and it does not happen. You must think I am a big sissy but I am just being honest. The problem with life is that there is no rewind button and I am scared of the year ending without being where I hoped I would be.

Despite the fact; I would hate to be a slave to my fears. I will take the plunge in the deep end (I can’t swim) and hope I won’t drown.

I want 2014 to be the year I hit solid ground with my career. Feels like that part of my life has been uncertain for far too long. I want out of that uncertainty. It is very unsettling. I am just praying for the courage to shut out that little voice in my head that creeps up and holds me back from reaching my full potential.

I want to go back to school this year. I have no idea how this will happen but am told I should have faith. I will just leave this one to the Almighty. I will ask him to figure that one out for me. I want to start a side hustle this year. I am still researching on it but I pray it works out. It’s time I started working on making my money work for me.

My relationship with God is not what it used to be. I can feel it and I can’t really tell when things changed but they did. I want to go back to where it was or even better. It’s been a minute since I went to church. Do I miss it? Maybe….I don’t know. I will work on that…baby steps.

2014 started well for him and when he is happy then I am happy. This year will define his career and I pray it goes as he hopes it will. As far as my love life is concerned; 2014 is another year to grow this beautiful relationship and I am grateful for that.

I hope I get to have lots of fun with both friends and family this year. I hope 2014 will be filled with love, good health, success and blessings and not just for me but for all of you and all my loved ones. I pray for the courage to take on this year.
2014….bring it on!

Afterthought: Feels like this post ended prematurely but hey….